Sally K. Norton

Vitality Coach, Speaker & Health Consultant

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December 26, 2023 by Sally K Norton

Grandmother’s Love Feels Like Pain

Three family scenes of grandparents with their grandchildren.

[This is part two of a two-part post. If you haven’t read the first one, go there first: Can We Save the Babies?]

The oxalate-educated grandmother (uncle, aunt, or step-dad) wrestles with emotionally charged conflicting realities. The trusted doctrine that vegetables are the unequivocal health pillar collides with her own jarring personal experience of pain, discovery, and a sometimes challenging recovery process.

It’s bad enough for her to be sick because of her “healthy” diet, the added mental struggle is a wound on its own. How could the very foods she served at her table with loving kindness be the hidden culprits behind her health issues?

Grief Turns to Worry

While navigating her own oxalate-induced health issues, the shock and disbelief can trigger a complex grief process. There is a sense of betrayal, and even rage: How could experts’ advice and accepted common knowledge fail her, and thus her family? Despite her best intentions, she unknowingly exposed her loved ones to harm. Her past teachings, she realizes, could lead to health issues for her precious family. It can be hard to avoid feelings of guilt and self-recrimination.

In processing the sad discovery, hopefully without self-blame, she needs time to process and acknowledge her private pain. From there perhaps she can find a strengthened sense of allegiance to her own well-being and truth.

In confronting an entrenched belief system—one she herself nurtured within her family—how does she break the news with her adult children and hope to invite them into a wholly different understanding?

Can she be vulnerable, share her heart, and be heard? Can she move forward to share her experience (and confess her feelings and mistakes) in a way that can spark interest and curiosity, and that opens the opportunity to reeducate her adult children. Does she have the influence to bring them along on this painful process of walking away from popular (mistaken) information?

It can feel like a no-win situation. Today’s lauded baby foods are loaded with high oxalate ingredients. Bite your tongue about this hidden hazard, and you’re guilty of not protecting vulnerable children.

Today’s Baby Foods Can be Outrageously Loaded with Oxalates

If you speak out in hopes that family members will agree to protect children from oxalates, you either “damage” people and strain your relationships, or you feel the rejection—or both. You share your profound discovery, so dear to you, and they treat it like it’s of no consequence.

The work ahead isn’t going to be easy. Your precious news will not be cherished as a precious gem painfully dug from caves. If your news is not hated, belittled, or mocked, it might be sternly denied and ignored. Ouch!

“My son and daughter-in-law have a 2-year-old daughter and a baby. They don’t buy into the notion that oxalates are a problem. They don’t want to hear any other point of view; please help me get through to them now, while the babies are growing up.”

—Marty

“Please Spare Them”

The grandmother’s mission to protect the young ones might keep her up with worry. At this stage, parents don’t have any special authority over their grown children. We can’t tell them what to do. Other adults will have to learn hard lessons themselves. Yet her hopeful heart pleads with God, “please spare them this one.”

“Don’t Tell Us How to Feed Our Kids”

Let’s consider the grandmother’s new information from the perspective of her adult children with children of their own. For many busy parents with professional ambitions, marriage, and childcare responsibilities, there isn’t time and energy to rethink accepted opinions on food and nutrition. It’s “normal,” “fun,” and easy to give kids potatoes, berries, chocolate, and peanut butter. Cutting these foods seems too hard.

 Mother talking to grown daughter and her husband.
Copyright jackf; used with permission

The virtue of vegetables is a deeply ingrained truth, imparted by the most trusted source they’ve known, their mother, and backed up relentlessly in mainstream dietary advice.

When Mother, the architect of their earliest understandings, approaches them with a concern that some vegetables are toxic, it’s more than a ripple in their family routines. It’s an upheaval.

Do they believe their Mother and attempt to swap out the high oxalate foods in their shopping carts, or decide that she has gone bonkers or joined some cult?

And if grandmother has ever been wrong—we all have—that’s the proof she’s lost her marbles and she’s now consuming “fake news.”

Even if her children accept with compassion that Mother’s story is real and revealing, the revelation probably collides with their deeply ingrained worldview, sense of stability, parental authority of their own, and the irresistible tendency to favor information that aligns with their existing beliefs. Personal pride and the desire to fit in with popular trends also favor dismissing new information that contradicts those beliefs. The adult child stopped letting Mother run their lives in high school!

Few young parents are ready be a lone voice in the wilderness. Opinions refuting this new ‘radical’ claim about the dangers of high oxalate vegetables are everywhere. Countless health blogs, diet testimonials, and mainstream nutritional guidelines have always championed the universal goodness of all vegetables. 

Do Facts Matter?

But really, it’s not about the scientific evidence that high dietary oxalates lead to poor health outcomes. In the face of the unsettling possibility that a foundational notion is flawed, the resistance is partly emotional self-defense. What would they have to give up? What will they miss out on without blackberries, dark chocolate, and spinach?

Are they up for reevaluating deeply held beliefs? Admitting that they live and perpetuate distorted information? Changing habits? Become cultural misfits? Add a new worry over their children? No Thanks, Mom!!

And as an adult, we’re far more likely to listen to experts and even some guy at the gym than we are to our parents. Perhaps you’d be wise to infect the guy they listen to at the gym with the oxalate-awareness bug. Let him convince your kid to give this a try. His facts are better than your facts (wink).

Eventually, our shared culture and popular collective “wisdom” will shift. In the meantime, accepting new information on oxalates may require uncommon bravery. It’s much easier to imagine that mom is a special case. Her ideas that the children are also at risk can’t be true.

Preserve Your Relationship

Like politics and religion, nutrition is a sensitive topic. A different point of view can spark power struggles in the family. Our listening within a family is mixed up with all the emotional baggage that comes with growing up (disappointments, and some degree of trauma and dysfunction, even in the healthiest of families) and then stepping free as an independent, self-guided adult.

The adult child has an opportunity to process the discomfort and be open to learning. In the long run, it’s a golden opportunity to grow, learn, and foster deeper connections within the family. Openness to new dietary principles and awareness may arise more easily from the fertile ground of relating well and supporting each other.

But all that takes time. It won’t happen on Thursday afternoon, or from reading one article or a web page. It depends on grandmother and adult child forming a mutually respectful learning partnership through which they can navigate what amounts to a societal betrayal by ‘expert sources’, while unlearning and supporting each other in building new wisdom.

How to Create Understanding

It’s essential for grandparents to approach their family members with empathy, patience, good humor, respect, and technique. Learn to spark interest. Think hard about their values: What might inspire curiosity? For the answer, listen to your inner guidance. Without speeches, speak to those values with simple questions or revelations that can linger in their minds and hearts. Each moment is unique, and openings show up. Stay willing to make connections listen, learn, unlearn, and relearn to enhance the relationship, not tear it down.

Grandmothers can start by sharing their experience, their sense of betrayal by experts, and their guilt for promoting a plant-trusting narrative they now know to be potentially dangerous. We need to console each other over the unbearable shock.

Take the time to nurture a loving understanding of the complex emotions each is experiencing. Let the love be felt. We all want the best for the kids. Sadly, we’re not aware of the profound importance of non-toxic nutrition. The education can be a heavy lift and minds can open slowly.

At stake is more than a concern about defining a healthful diet for the young ones. It’s also an opportunity to strengthen intergenerational bonds, honor the value of relationships, and model invaluable lessons for young ones about navigating sensitive topics, being willing to change our thinking in the face of new evidence, and learning to sustain better life choices.

Patience, open communication, and loving respect for the deep emotions involved (our own as well as our family members’) are the foundation from which new understanding and new practices will emerge. By all means speak your new truth about oxalates: but the goal is not just to “make them believe.” We need to form loving partnerships to support each other in building the best lives possible for ourselves, our children, our grandchildren and extend that into the world.

Let’s Help Each Other

While the food fights rage on, our growing community is learning together. Please share your personal stories of mistakes or success in bringing inter-generational family members onboard.

Many families are reporting both benefits (and dumping) in children who seemed healthy. Here is one example from an Amazon Review:

Many seemingly unrelated ailments can all be from oxalate. I have found great relief in my low oxalate diet endeavor. My husband and children have also experienced oxalate dumping after lowering oxalate. It is not rare! Our modern diet, eating superfoods year round, is affecting kids and adults alike. In summary, do yourself a favor and buy a copy of Toxic Superfoods today. I will be buying copies for my family and friends.”

-K.K., Amazon Reviewer

If you have your own thoughts on how to handle this situation, please leave them in the comments on this post.

December 24, 2023 by Sally K Norton

Can We Save the Babies?

Many of my clients are grandmothers (or aunts or sisters) who had to learn about dietary oxalates the hard way. It took a labored and often expensive and protracted search for relief from their own health issues before they discovered that dietary oxalates could play a central role in their feeling broken.

The perplexing answer to their suffering was to “quit health foods.” Sure enough, doing so is bringing them relief from joint and muscle pain, exhaustion, bladder issues, depression, and anxiety. Grandma is living the single most profound and rewarding life change ever! This is a big deal.

But for years, they taught their children the virtues of consuming foods like spinach. They were doing their best, confidently believing “all vegetables are healthy.” Their past “knowledge” did not serve them well, however. Foods they’ve long promoted proved to be the problem. Ouch! The unmanageable pain that brought them to a sea-change in their understanding may be lifting, but other baggage sets up in its wake.

While regaining their health through oxalate-aware eating, grandmothers suffer a multi-faceted psychic tumult as they wrestle with the disturbing understanding: Some of their long-cherished foods can be quite harmful to anyone, including their loved ones.

My Daughter Feeds Her Child High Oxalate Foods!

Low-oxalate grandmothers are now troubled with a heart-breaking challenge: How to save the babies from oxalate toxicity in a world unwilling to consider the possibility?

They have science and experience on their side. In my book, Toxic Superfoods, I cite various studies by experts insisting that spinach and other high oxalate foods are detrimental to a child’s development. But ignored evidence is powerless.

To protect their grandchild (or any young person, including grandnieces or nephews etc.), they must convince other adults that a high intake of oxalates can be harmful, particularly to growing children and their developing brains. Grandma’s legacy needs work!

But, humans don’t welcome change. Grandmothers busting though the front door announcing their joyous, precious news about oxalates don’t get high-fives and accolades for sharing a profound insight. Adult family members are unlikely to gleefully agree to menu changes and fall in line behind her, easily tossing aside conventional beliefs and shared traditions.

Copyright jackf; used with permission.

Is there any hope that the ship of the family will turn around and sail off in this new direction in time to help the very young? Attempting to change minds and hearts can be an emotionally dangerous high seas journey. Storms are ahead, dear grandma.

How do we navigate this course correction with all its potential tumult and conflict? Can grandma withstand what’s to come? Can we save the babies from oxalate damage and preserve the family relationships that are also critically important for children?

Read my next post (“Grandmother’s Love Feels Like Pain”) and explore how to understand and handle this sticky situation.

March 15, 2019 by Sally K Norton

A Chronic Illness: What Recovery Looks Like

Five+ Years of Low Oxalate — Reflections, Lessons, & Progress.

Back in November of 2018, I had a big anniversary: Five years since my (re)beginning and consistently sticking with the low oxalate diet (LOD)! Those of you who are considering or starting on this path of self-care might like some sort of note from your possible future. What will things be like after years of staying the course? I hope my experience will help to encourage you when things aren’t going as well as you are wanting. First let me offer some context.

A Quick Flash Back

I was in Graduate School at the University of North Carolina (UNC-CH), a patient at the medical clinic for student health. I dared to confess (to the grey-haired doctor) not only my weird symptoms but my observation that my symptoms would follow eating a variety of foods. I knew I was risking his skepticism or criticism, but I really needed help.

After eating whole wheat bread, I would feel both mentally and physically exhausted; soy seemed to cause my face to break out; and some days I would wake up with puffy eyes and a lot of fine wrinkles on my face, other days, not. He ran no tests, asked few questions, and quickly told me that my symptoms were all imaginary. He said, “you need psych-services”—three times. Belittled and soundly dismissed and by “my” doctor, I did sort of feel like I could use a shoulder to cry on. But there was no time for that with a statistics final exam the very next day!

In the meantime, my gynecologist at the UNC student clinic was taking repeat biopsies of my cervix because the tissues there looked so very cancerous. Fortunately, the results kept coming back as “chronic inflammation”. Neither of my doctors could imagine that my body was reacting to toxins, or that my immune system was in hyperdrive, agitated by irritants.

Medical “Care”

Medical practitioners (and other “experts”) have a long history of dismissing problems they don’t understand by accusing the victims of being hysterical or mental cases who need counseling. If you don’t fit their preexisting menu of “legitimate” problems, if you have too many complaints or otherwise feel sort of crummy a lot of the time, then the general attitude is: Well, you can’t be suffering from an organic illness with real causes.

They, the experts, don’t approve of conditions that don’t fit their lists or don’t conform to their assumptions or respond to symptom-hiding remedies. Their inability to help makes us malingerers, cry-babies, or one of the “worried well” (a new blanket term replacing previous labels like “female hysteria”). Likewise, family and friends can also be dismissive, or at best, at a loss as to how to be supportive of us when we struggle with a chronic mystery illness. And, few are tolerant of the idea that dietary changes might have merit.

Sharing to Teach

Given this cultural context, it must be either an act of bravery or recklessness to share publicly the depth and breadth of a multi-focal and wholly ignored illness like dietary oxalosis (oxalate toxicity). Am I foolish, brave, or reckless to admit that I had a lot of stuff bothering me that nobody could figure out? Yes, Yes, Yes. Accuse me of all three. I’m willing to stick my neck out in sharing my story for those who also suffer from a bunch of nasty problems hamstringing their lives.

How Weird is This?

Invariably, the characterization used in the medical literature for this oxalosis problem is “heterogeneous.” The symptoms of excess oxalate in the human body are indeed variable: different for the same individual at different times and different from person to person. Medical writers also use the term “asymptomatic” a lot—but that is yet another issue. The silent start of this disease might mean that things appear normal and healthy until symptoms show up later in the more problematic stages.

The bottom line, confusing as it can be, is this: The same disease looks very different in different people (and is often “silent” in the early stages). All the systems and all the tissues of the body can be affected by oxalate. All of them, every last one. On the other hand, in some people only a few body parts protest. There are no rules of toxic biology that comply with medical expectations or the handbook of medical diagnosis.

A Look at Oxalate Illness

The visible signs that oxalates are interfering with the maintenance and smooth running of our bodies don’t present specific universal patterns unique to this disease. In general, we can divide the likely factors behind this into two general categories. For one, the differing effects and severity in each person most likely reflect a person’s unique history of exposure. Here are some examples of what I mean:

  • timing of intake of high oxalate foods with age and related developmental stages,
  • states of wellness or infection at the time (or pseudo-infections that comes with vaccination),
  • a status of injury or overuse in some area(s) of the body,
  • personal nutritional and sleep habits,
  • levels of physical or emotional stress,
  • microbiome status, gut health,
  • kidney function.

Another source of the varied individual expressions of this disease are each person’s unique vulnerabilities that come from constitutional or metabolic tendencies and factors influencing genetic expression.

Remember too that the various body parts entangled with oxalate are unlikely to hold meetings to decide who among them can be harmed by oxalate, who may be spared (or appear to be spared for now), and who can cope with their level of oxalate exposure without subpar performance.

Reflections After 5 Years on the Low Oxalate Diet

Trite as it sounds, this diet has brought me back to life. Now, life-long health mysteries are not so mysterious. After years of suffering with pain, fatigue, sinus problems and bad feet, there was the possibility of a cure—discovering the cause, putting an end to it, and reversing my chronic symptoms.

It’s Not Just My Joints that Are Happier

The crazy-long list of my health problems (involving sleep, joints, feet, chemical sensitivity, skin, etc.) has shrunk considerably! The payoff from this diet is many-fold. It has allowed me to work and live a full life again, where once that was far from the case. I feel like I’ve grown 30 years younger. My spine moves, my brain works, I can sleep, run, and play in ways that were not possible five years ago. Back then, I was debilitated—too tired to work, to think, to read, and unable to tolerate exercise without extreme fatigue for days after.

I had an explanation and I had undeniable results. But the explanation, which initially seemed more than perplexing to me, also felt like an outrageous double cross. “Healthy” foods can make you very sick?  Oh yes they can!

About the Cause

The toxicity caused by too much oxalate in my diet was the result of eating real, whole foods. It was the result of abiding by the best health advice I knew: “Eat vegetables, emphasize leafy greens, eat beans in place of meat, eat walnuts for omega-3 fats and low-carb snacking”, I did all these things for years. I was very fond of vegetables even as a little kid. I loved real food, and still do.

Discovery, Frustration, and So Much to Learn

When I started oxalate-aware eating, I knew nothing about the chemistry or biology of oxalate and oxalic acid or its tendency to leave deposits in the body that needed to come out. (Neither do most doctors and nutritionists.) Knowing so little, I was shocked by all the benefits and funny reactions I was getting. I did not fully understand why this dietary change improves both new and old health problems, yet triggers rashes, eye sties, cold sores, peeling skin, or a variety of other oddities.

My scientific understanding needed a big boost, so I headed to the medical library. Information on chronic oxalate illness wasn’t simple to dig up there, either. After a lot of effort and time, I learned that oxalate is a known toxin with wide-ranging effects on the body. It has a long history of causing illness and the low oxalate diet is known to reverse illness.

Oxalate is known to collect in tissues. This phenomenon lacked much explanation except in cases when the disease is the genetic form, or the oxalate poisoning is acute. The chronic effects of either acute or chronic exposure on the body are still not well understood. Sadly, even the possibility of long-term effects is ignored by the establishment. In its entirety, the science is still waiting to be valued, explored, and understood.

Tragically, the many fascinating scientific findings about oxalate over the last 200 years are not adequately followed-up (if they are not soon forgotten) and the repeated warnings about the risks of routinely eating high oxalate foods are ignored. Of all the many problems with our understanding and recognition of oxalate-related diseases the most frustrating problem is this: Even receptive scientists or clinical workers do not demand accurate information about oxalate in foods. Without this, we cannot implement or study the effects of oxalate-aware eating. Thus, the diet cannot really be successful as a clinical tool. (Not that doctors are receptive to using an elimination diet, as they don’t wish to practice nutrition.)

A Quick Recap of Science Lessons Learned: A List

Here is a short list of some of the science about oxalate’s effects in our bodies. For more about this, please check back with my science page.

Oxalate:

  • creates crystals anywhere in the body, including in the arteries, joints, bones, and thyroid gland.
  • gets stuck in our tissues in idiosyncratic ways (different in each individual).
  • disturbs digestive health and the function of other organs, connective tissues, and cells.
  • causes muscles to lose potassium (and creates other electrolyte imbalances too), which can cause muscle knots, weakness, and heart palpitations.
  • triggers immune reactions that promote inflammation, pain, and autoimmune disease.
  • are toxic to nerves and the brain.
  • can destroy your sleep. (This is a repeated and widespread finding from real people, I have not seen mention of oxalate specifically in the sleep literature.)

The Beginning is Just the Beginning

As is true with most illness, the condition of oxalate toxicity does not immediately end when the diet begins. Internal residues of oxalate persist. The gradual process of dismantling them can generate difficult symptoms. These symptoms are often inflammatory and typically have some consequences for the nervous system, affecting mood, attention, sleep, physical coordination. This is true for me even after five years of faithful conformity to the diet. The diet allows the healing process to continue in its own mysterious ways.

Still Not on Easy Street

But the five years of recovery have been challenging. There’s much more to it than just “eating less and getting better”, even though that’s a great place for almost anyone to start.

The healing process can be brutal in the first few years. For me, there have been days, way too many days, where the pain and despair caused me to question the extent of the benefits of avoiding oxalate. My own doubt, skepticism, or uncertainty would, at times, compound the miserable physical and mental symptoms. Despite near perfect execution of the diet, pain and ill feelings would reappear in an on-again, off-again fashion. Sometimes they rise up in the middle of a really good week and abruptly stop me in my tracks. Sometimes symptoms would linger. Those days the abyss was wide: The gulf between the struggle I was living and my hope of fully restored health framed a dismally disappointing picture. And yet, it was also fascinating, because it is undeniable that I was continuing to get better. Something powerful is going on here.

Ongoing Recovery Means Still Improving and this Means Some Suffering

The often unpleasant, recovery process is far from over. My body is still blasting away at the oxalate within. Thick, cloudy, crystal-loaded urine both coincide with and follow days of back pain, fatigue, and mental fog. Then, finally a really great day appears: mental clarity and strong supple body enjoying abundant sustained energy. Then a day of symptoms again. So it goes, up and down. The down days get more bearable and the good days more common. Still healing.

So many melodramatic symptoms! They are likely a sign of a strong vital force whipping up a storm intended to blow up and move the mess—out! After one episode passes, the healing force moves on to another junk pile to blow away. And so the process continues on and on. Up and down. Up and down. One good day is followed by 5 hard days. One good week is followed by six hard days. The trend is upward, but the line is jagged!

Is this continuing drama because of some other metabolic problem? Or is this just oxalate deposit removal work? A number of things make it hard to recognize that oxalate is the key to so much suffering. The variable symptom patterns are one factor. The lack of recognition of the implications of persistent high oxalate levels inside the body (due to the sequestering self-defense strategy used when intake is high) is another. Until we have intensive clinical research, the only good way to test this is to eat this way and learn from personal experience. You might be surprised by the benefits that will win you over.

As the body works hard undoing the mess, let’s work with the ways and rhythms of biology. Make your lifestyle supportive. Think: yoga, meditation, rest, limiting sugar and over all carbs, avoiding toxins and junk food. Other modalities (targeted supplements and sauna, for example) can round out a path to vibrant health. All of these self-care practices require constancy to yield the results that unfold gradually over time. Remember that the tortoise won the race. (Rabbits, on the other hand, push too hard, jump around, and either get lost, distracted or burnt out.)

Turn Off the Healing?

How do you moderate or turn-off the body’s impulse to clean out the mess? (We want to do this because it can be brutal.) Hopes of having some say in this requires us to understand the triggers of the clearance process. Down here in the trenches, we can only guess. The triggers seem to be low oxalate intake and being well nourished (with minerals, energy and protein). Does this mean we have to add back some oxalate in the diet? Or fast, or stop taking minerals? Perhaps a diet of 40 mg of oxalate in every meal would hold back the healing reactions? The answers may not be simple, but it would be nice if someone could study this formally. No one individual can do this and prove it a better approach. Careful testing and monitoring of many people over several years would be needed. (I have not done a statistical power calculation.) Such research would take resources and expertise that is out of reach, for now.

Challenge Testing

Some of us don’t notice the benefits or for other reasons. They are more likely to drift off the diet – especially in the early years. This drifting tends to create unintended, private (n=1) “oxalate challenge tests”. This can wake up an oxalate sufferer to the reality of it and pulls them back on course. Just a bowl of freshly picked figs, a baked potato, or a few nut bars and, wow, significant feedback from their body usually pops up—an agitated, sleepless night; too many trips to the bathroom; fatigue; achy wrists; something. It’s as if one’s previous apparent tolerance has been unmasked by the period of avoiding oxalate.

Still, by going back to shunning high oxalate foods and making smart selections among the many other food options, one can relax back into a healing path.

Where I am Today

Now, I am living a full life doing more than most people manage to do. So far, the low oxalate diet has given me a lot. See this table for a before and after comparison:

NowBefore Low Oxalate Diet
Sleep is restorative (after about 10 days on the diet I started waking up feeling good). Restless legs: 95% gone and milder when it does happen. Brain waking up 29 times every hour. Extreme fatigue, even during mornings. Restless legs (Diagnosis based on sleep lab was “Periodic limb movement disorder” and involved arm movements too).
I can read and think and write.Had lost my reading comprehension and mental energy (likely due to sleep problem).
Fully functional feet (not seen in 30 years!), My feet did not tolerate jumping, darting side to side, the wearing of heels, or going barefoot without aching.
More flexible and strong joints with very little pain. Stiffness of joints and connective tissues; occasional random swelling and weakness of fingers, wrists, knees.
Quick recovery from exercise Post exercise fatigue would last 3 -4 days
A seemingly better vascular system and improved lung capacity. No more hiccups. Cold hands and feet. Mildly restricted ability to breathe deeply. Hiccups at night (often severe and painful).
Immune system is calmer with less inflammation overall.   Several “autoimmune” problems like indigestion, IBS, rheumatoid arthritis; “fibro” symptoms, many allergies, and allergic fatigue, puffy eye bags.
Bloating and belching is rare. Unstoppable belching fits at bedtime.
A more youthful and regenerating body (I’m reclaiming my physical abilities.) Felt worn out, aged, physical vitality slipping away.
Skin is stronger and less wrinkled.
Few to no hangnails. Much tougher skin on the bottoms of my feet.
Bagging neck skin and eye area wrinkle. Frail skin especially noticeable around my nails where hangnails were constant. Tender skin on feet.
Less tartar; no more cavities; less tooth sensitivity (despite some significant flare-ups in the first 2 years on the diet). Constant tartar and frequent cavities in rear molars, sensitive to sweet and cold. Chewing could be uncomfortable.
Few muscle knots. (Potassium supplements were required to achieve this.) Abundant painful muscle knots in shoulders and back.
Increased bone density (increase of 4% at hip; 10% in back, according to DEXA scans) (Potassium may be helping with this too.) Osteopenia.
Improved tolerance to chemicals and fragrances. (No long tail of fatique.) Headaches and persistent fatigue easily triggered by breathing chemicals and exhaust.
Thyroid lumps and enlargement are gone. Reduced thyroid medication by half. Lumpy thyroid and below normal thyroid levels.

Changing Perspective

At the five-year point, I can see how far I have come. Yes, I want even more days of awesome. But being alive in this very honest way is good. After all, it is the amazing progress that emboldens me to dare hope for more. New possibilities expand across my horizons, even if some days those possibilities seem teasingly out of reach!

From this high peak of five years of recovery I can enjoy the view. I remember how far I have come. I can do so much more than before. I see so much progress. Part of “getting there” is a matter of remembering just how good you have it now. Not fighting this moment is part of making our next moments better.

Letting the process be what it is (vs demanding different results)

For those of us who are especially loaded with oxalate, the recovery process is a hard endurance challenge. The body needs to and wants to clean out and recover from decades of excessive oxalate consumption. As the body works to heal, it necessarily uses some rough techniques for blasting out oxalate calcifications. It unearths, attacks, dismantles, disintegrates, disperses and expels toxic crystals from cells and tissues. This work involves disruption of the status quo with inflammation and destruction. This can be painful, nerves don’t like it, muscles don’t like it, kidneys don’t like it. Your brain, your mood, your whole self, they all take a hit. It can be truly awful. (This is one major reason why both researchers and individuals overlook the benefits of the diet — the amount of oxalate in the blood and urine doesn’t necessarily drop consistently and the related symptoms persist.)

Don’t fight the waves, let the tide carry you forward.

Well, the bumpy healing process is what it needs to be. I may want joy, bliss, energy, and strength all the time; after all, I’ve been so good! What I get instead is occasional, unpredictable pain, wavering hope, and feelings of defeat. When these conditions prevail, it is our own expectations and impatience that erodes our confidence and threatens our resolve. Don’t give in to the downward pull of the bleak moments. Just know that it is temporary and will pass. Be willing to wait.

In the not-too-distant future, you’ll be feeling better and taking advantage of that. The bigger issue will be the tendency to take the better health for granted while neglecting the memories of just how bad things once were. Even when getting better, it is possible to focus too much on what is still not better. That is a sure path to misery.

Being Complete vs Not

Without acknowledging successful progress, the striving and wishing for physical perfection can generate a kind of illness of its own. It is an illness of discontent, defeat, and feeling incomplete. Instead, I resolve to be complete inside this day. As a personal hero of mine, Geneen Roth (a prolific author and guide for people struggling with food addiction and body image)[i], likes to teach: “ I am enough”. Likewise, this experience of today can be enough. I don’t need all that I desire to make it a good day. I need only my willingness to persist in a spirit of gratitude.

Today and tomorrow I am sticking with this. Joyfully I celebrate the miracles of being alive in an amazing body able to heal itself. I invite you to stick with it too. Look for and enjoy the miracle of healing.

Some Take-Aways:

  1. You are not crazy. You don’t need a doctor to validate you.
  2. It is not always obvious at the beginning that you are benefiting.
  3. The healing process for some of us carries on for years and years.
  4. There will be times when symptoms are in play making the benefits seem subtle, meager, or inadequate. These are not times to give up, but to resolve to stay the course.
  5. Not everyone has dramatic problems or healing symptoms. Still, it is common to overlook the connection between the oxalate clean-out your body is undertaking and the pain, skin issues, headaches, clumsy days, and tired days that arise in the process (even years after you started the diet).
  6. The pain of healing is part of the process. Six months of tooth pain, three weeks of sinus pain, periodic joint pain, a month of emotional fatigue—each will resolve on its own. You don’t need to intervene medically when your body is already taking care of you. 
  7. Stick with it despite it all; and find ways to enjoy the ride.
  8. Recovery is real. This diet is a gift that has saved me and many others from a downward spiral that was undoing our lives and our sense of who we are.

My future is about living life fully in ways that were for so long compromised by pain and fatigue. Today, my bad days are so much better than my good days were before taking the oxalate out of my diet. I am convinced that my body will perform best with as little oxalate on board as it can manage.

A Brief Note of Gratitude and Thanks

This is a good time to take stock and express gratitude to everyone who made this possible. Thank you, Susan Owens[ii] and your devoted moderators, list mates, and loyal followers for sharing your stories of oxalate mobilization (“dumping”) reactions. Your recognition of this process is not only a brilliant insight, it has helped thousands.

Our current recognition of the connection between food oxalate and pain starts with Joanne Yount, founder and director the VP Foundation[iii]. For over 25 years, she has bravely, fiercely, and loyally attended her mission to test foods for their oxalate content on behalf of people with chronic unexplained pelvic and genital pain.

Let me start and end each day with a grateful heart.

Footnotes

[i] Geneen Roth https://geneenroth.com/books/

[ii] Autism Oxalate Project / Trying Low Oxalate Group: http://lowoxalate.info/

[iii] The VP Foundation: http://www.thevpfoundation.org/


December 21, 2017 by Sally K Norton

Winter Solstice and Imperceptible Change

Still life night scene photo: Winter Lit Lantern standing on snow with frosted greens and pine cones

Finding Your Own Brighter Days Ahead During the Yuletide

Today, in the Northern Hemisphere, our winter solstice sun appears at its lowest point in the sky. Many traditions and cultures honor these short days and long nights as a sacred and special time.

This time of year is associated with light – electric string lights, the burning yule log, and candles. Hanukkah in the Jewish tradition is the Festival of Lights, which just completed the 8 days of ritual illumination of the menorah. There’s the advent wreath of the Christian faith (weekly lighting of candles) and the all-night bonfire of the Yule log. The lights are reminders of our inner light, an affirmation of our higher and better selves, and hope for brighter days ahead – as we move through our darkest days.

Winter Festivities – Coping with Darkness and Chill

The trimmings, the sweets, the parties and the hoopla of the season are all intended to help carry us through this dark and cold time of the year. Without our social connections and the promise of brighter days ahead, the winter blues might be overwhelming. Parties and holiday gatherings remind us that we’re all in it together. And it can, indeed, be good medicine because we humans long for a sense of belonging, to feel that deep bond of family and community, to be part of a “tribe”.

Of course, we get distracted by all the “wanting”—feelings of lack, and a focus on stuff, or even our longings for perfect health.  And we easily miss the central point:  to love one another, to offer companionship and reinforce our connections through the trimmings and the gifts (the ones we give!). We tell ourselves that it is the cookies, the drinks, the food and the gifts that make the holiday special. Try them out all by yourself, and see if you can honestly say that is the case.

The Way Out of Winter Solstice Darkness

And then there is the pressure to be positive, cheery, merry, and bright. But you may have your pain, grief, or worry—your own reality that seems at odds with all the outward festivity. What if melancholy does have you in its grips? Does all this ‘cheer’ make you feel even more alone with your pain? It could, and you don’t need to apologize for that. Let me offer you permission to feel what is real for you.

I don’t mean to suggest that it is best to wallow in sorrow or become some version of Scrooge.  I’m just saying that you need and deserve some compassion—from yourself. And some loving input—from yourself. So, if you’re not feeling the “be-of-good-cheer” vibe, try this: Claim your right to be supported, by you, first and foremost.  Find 10 minutes of peace and calm to sit with pen and paper. Write a list of “wellness” actions you might take on your own behalf. Choose actions that would give you a solid and level foundation from which things will, at least, not get worse. Look for your own paths to healing, and be willing to take steps in those directions. Touch an inner compass, and find the place within you where purpose lives.

Imperceptible Change

The truth is that things don’t stay the same. Even though our sunken sun appears to be the same for several days before and after the solstice, we are still moving towards spring. So if you feel sad and perhaps even a bit hopeless, just know things won’t stay this way forever—especially because you’ve befriended yourself.

Winter solstice marks the beginning of the return of longer and brighter days, though there are many weeks of winter ahead. While we might be feeling the long darkness of night, the days are indeed growing, though we won’t see the difference at first. Yet by December 25th, where Christmas tucked itself into the calendar in place of a Roman winter festival*, daylight hours are indisputably getting longer. Hooray!

Remember, the dying of the sun and the passing of the year also mark a rebirth of the sun, of the cycles of life, and of hope, faith, and love in our hearts. May you nurture your own heart and soul this season.

Sending you my love!

Three young women in black with their snow person construction

Snow Fun


*December 25 was adopted as the date for Christmas in Europe in order to superimpose on the pre-existing mid-winter festivals. The Romans held a festival on December 25 of Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, “the birthday of the unconquered sun.”  The Romans also had a week-long winter festival called Saturnalia that included public feasting, dancing, singing and gambling. Houses were decorated with evergreens and bunches of holly were given as tokens of friendship. When this festival was absorbed into the Christian calendar, holly, evergreens, and other symbols were adopted as well.

November 19, 2017 by Sally K Norton

Choices to lessen suffering and open our hearts to joy and Thanksgiving.

My trip to the farmers market today was beautiful. In a magical perfection, bright yellow and orange leaves fluttered everywhere in the swirling wind, contrasting with the strong, steady, black-bark covered limbs arching over streets and sidewalks. Everyone at the market seemed calm and very content to be there. It put me in a mood to slow down, just be, and reflect about the ways we cope, consume, eat.

South of the James Farmers Market

And, I want to suggest to you that, this Thanksgiving, you eat whatever you want.

But, before you do, be sure you really want it. And that you know why. Do we ever know why we do what we do? We say we want to be out of pain, physically, emotionally, and yet… Too often our actions don’t always fit our true wants. Perhaps, we are so busy wanting that we cling to our cravings and beloved symbols of comfort, especially when we get emotionally triggered.  And our desire to be loved is often being the biggest “want” of all.

Emotionally triggered? Do you think it’s possible at this time of year? Honestly:  do you think it’s not possible? A lot of us go into super-charge mode emotionally, putting ourselves on a hair trigger, easily upset by the smallest of things. It works great for retailers who put all kinds of irresistible comforts, stimulants, and distractions right under our noses. It doesn’t usually play out so well at family gatherings, however.

How will you be in this moment, this time we call Thanksgiving? This is the time we say is the opening of the Season of Joy. Can it be so for you? What would make it so? Is it about the sugar-coated, pecan-topped sweet potatoes, really? Foods like these may serve our past habits and past memories. And so, we tell ourselves that they are security, ground, and comfort—and a pleasure we need and deserve.

Clinging to the Past

The old way of doing things provides a railing that we hold on to as we navigate the steps of relationships, change, and uncertainty. But, truly, life is best lived in a state of uncertainty. That is where discovery lies.  That is where novelty, growth, and the best in life reside.  Perhaps, too, clinging to our old choices, habits, and memories is just an escape from uncertainty. So often we don’t dare be fully present, or embrace our new path. Perhaps because we fear feeling sad. Sad is bad enough at any time, but horrible in the Season of Joy.

This is an ideal time to build our confidence in our ability to drop our old ways and choose wisely. As Pema Chödrön, puts it: “Natural intelligence is always accessible to us. When we’re not caught in the trap of hope and fear, we intuitively know what’s the right thing to do. If we’re not obscuring our intelligence with anger, self-pity, or craving, we know what will help and what will make things worse” [for us emotionally].

Let your own capacity to feel appreciation, gratitude, tenderness, and a sense of humor be your core, your warmth, your comfort, your peace, your celebration. This is great time to nurture our inner warmth, first to ourselves and then to everyone around us. Light a small fire inside, let it glow with your life energy. Let it be reason enough for the season. Let it give you peace, let it free up your intelligence and be a fuel for making wiser choices. De-escalate the meaning and value of former favorites, and look forward to trying new things that are good for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!! And, remember, a low-oxalate holiday begins with your mindset.

Sources:

Pema Chödrön (2009) Taking the Leap. Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears. p.5

Photo Credit: Copyright: <a href=’https://www.123rf.com/profile_maxsheb’>maxsheb / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

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